How to Recognize and Support Anxious Children
Anxiety is a common emotional response in children, often shaped by genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. While mild anxiety is a normal aspect of development, excessive or persistent anxiety can hinder a child’s ability to participate in daily activities, build relationships, and cultivate emotional resilience. Research underscores the crucial role parents play in influencing their child’s capacity to manage anxiety.
Common Causes of Anxiety in Children
1. Genetic and Biological Factors
Children with a naturally sensitive or reactive temperament might be more likely to experience heightened anxiety. A family history of anxiety or other mood disorders can also raise the chances of a child developing anxious tendencies.
2. Environmental Stressors
Major life changes like parental separation, relocating, or experiencing bullying can lead to heightened anxiety. When a child faces uncertainty in their environment, particularly if they feel unsupported during transitions, it can amplify feelings of fear and distress.
3. School and Social Pressures
Academic expectations, interactions with peers, and social comparisons can contribute to performance-related anxiety. Children facing significant pressure to succeed or those grappling with perfectionism may develop avoidance behaviours to manage stress.
4. Overprotective Parenting
While it’s natural for parents to wish to protect their children from distress, overly excessive reassurance or avoidance of difficult situations can actually reinforce anxiety. If children aren’t given chances to tackle manageable challenges, they may come to lack confidence in their ability to handle stress.
5. Difficulties with Emotional Regulation
Children who have difficulty recognising, expressing, or managing their emotions are more likely to face anxiety. Without support in understanding their feelings, they may bottle up their emotions or form unhelpful coping strategies like avoidance or withdrawal.
How to Identify Signs of Anxiety in Children
Recognising anxiety in children can be challenging, as they may not always have the language or awareness to express their feelings. Anxiety can manifest in various ways, such as physical symptoms, behavioural changes, and emotional distress.
1. Physical Symptoms
- Frequent stomachaches, headaches, or muscle tension without a clear medical cause
- Increased heart rate, sweating, dizziness, or feeling shaky
- Trouble sleeping, including difficulty falling asleep or frequent nightmares
- Changes in appetite, such as eating significantly more or less than usual
2. Emotional and Behavioural Signs
- Excessive worry or fear about everyday situations (e.g., school, social interactions, future events)
- Irritability, mood swings, or frequent emotional outbursts
- Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or participate in activities
- Seeking constant reassurance from parents or caregivers
- Difficulty concentrating or appearing easily distracted
3. Social and Academic Impact
- Reluctance to separate from parents or caregivers (e.g., excessive clinginess)
- Difficulty making or maintaining friendships due to social anxiety
- Sudden decline in academic performance or avoidance of schoolwork
- Perfectionism and excessive self-criticism, fearing failure or mistakes
If these signs persist over time and significantly impact a child’s well-being, it may indicate an anxiety disorder that requires additional support.
How Emotion Coaching Helps Children Manage Anxiety
Emotion Coaching, as described in the Tuning Into Kids program, is a parenting approach that nurtures emotional intelligence and resilience. It involves assisting children in understanding and regulating their emotions through five key steps:
1. Recognising and Validating Emotions
Parents can help children feel understood by acknowledging their emotions instead of dismissing them. Statements like, “I can see you’re feeling nervous about your presentation,” demonstrate to children that their feelings are valid.
2. Connecting with Empathy
Responding with empathy normalises emotions and diminishes feelings of isolation. A supportive response, such as, “I understand you’re feeling anxious—it’s okay to feel this way,” reassures kids that they’re not alone in their experience.
3. Teaching Emotional Regulation Skills
Parents can introduce strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, and positive self-talk to assist children in managing their anxious feelings. Encouraging them to recognise what helps them feel calm offers valuable tools for self-regulation.
4. Encouraging Problem-Solving
Rather than immediately fixing a child’s problem, parents can help them explore possible solutions. For example, if a child is anxious about a school test, asking, “What do you think would help you feel more prepared?” fosters independence and confidence.
5. Setting Limits While Acknowledging Emotions
It’s important to validate emotions while keeping boundaries. A balanced approach might involve saying, “I understand that you’re feeling scared about going to school, but we still need to go. Let’s think of ways to make it easier for you.”
How Parents Can Help Their Children with Anxiety
Beyond Emotion Coaching, parents can take additional steps to support their child’s emotional well-being:
- Model Calm Behaviour: Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrating healthy ways to manage stress can help children develop similar coping strategies.
- Encourage Gradual Exposure: Helping children face their fears in small, manageable steps rather than avoiding anxiety-provoking situations can build resilience.
- Promote a Healthy Routine: Regular sleep, physical activity, and a balanced diet contribute to emotional regulation and overall well-being.
- Limit Reassurance-Seeking: While it is natural to want to reassure an anxious child, excessive reassurance can reinforce anxiety. Instead, encourage problem-solving and self-soothing strategies.
- Seek Professional Support if Needed: If a child’s anxiety significantly interferes with their daily life, professional support from a Psychologist can provide additional guidance and strategies.
In summary, childhood anxiety can be influenced by various factors, including temperament, environment, and learned coping mechanisms. Emotion Coaching, as emphasised in the Tuning Into Kids program, provides an effective framework for helping children understand and regulate their emotions. Parents can play a crucial role in supporting their child’s emotional development and resilience by validating feelings, fostering problem-solving skills, and modelling healthy coping strategies.
By Alana Watson